7 Activities that will Help you Heal and Prevent Emotional Illnesses

This is a brief summary of other posts I created about healing and prevention. Check out these tips:

1. Therapy

I can't emphasize this enough. People think that only if someone has depression/anxiety they should go to the therapy. This is nonsense. Psychology has special health and prevention tips for everyone, not only who has an illness. Therapy will also help you heal aspects of yourself that you never knew you needed healing. It is similar to going to a general checkout. Remember it is an act of self-love and self-care, but also, care for others, since you won't be able to be there for them if you get sick, right?

2. Love and support

Do you have an empathic friend or family member? Talk to them about how you feel and they will understand you. They may also remind you of who you are, the things/people you love and treasure, and show you ways of keeping your vibrations on a higher level, by enjoying activities that will make you feel better. If they can support you with your therapy, this will bring amazing results.

If you prefer, you can join support communities on the Internet or chats about those things you love. This will help you get self-awareness since people will provide you with better awareness of who you are for them. Having pets, or loving a hobby is also very helpful.

I also encourage you to open the gates of love from your heart through charity. There is not a single person in the world who can't do charity. You will know exactly what to do to help others when you meet the right opportunity and when your heart tells you "we can help by doing this!" We never know when we can be others' source of love and support.

3. Journaling

This is my favorite one. That's why I'm writing this! Louise Hay talks about "putting on some soft music and letting your mind drift" in her book "Mirror Work". I do this once in a while. It's very useful when you're not being able to go to the therapy or talk to someone. Especially because you don't need to tell anyone a story. You will understand exactly what you're writing about and improve your self-knowledge. If you're not good with words, draw it, dance it, sing it, express it. Then pay attention to your feelings. Talk to yourself.

4. Meditation

Meditation is concentrating on self-growth, cleaning our minds to improve our thoughts, our sleep, turning our feelings into more empathic ones, reduces high blood pressure and stress, and it also changes our brain in long-term, reducing even our sensibility to pain. It's amazing for people with depression and can help prevent anxiety. I would recommend an application called "Daily Mudras" that teaches us in an easy way how to do specific mudras, which are "hand poses" that help in the equilibrium of the elements earth, fire, air, water into the body.

5. Mindful exercises (such as yoga or taichi)

I'm highly inclined to yoga, but there are lots of exercises that can help your self-transformation. They are tools that teach us to find balance in and out, by connecting mind, body and spirit in one and reminding us how amazing is to be a human on Earth.

6. Better nutrition

Poor nutrition contributes to poor health and poor health is linked to many emotional illnesses. If you're looking for self-healing, you can change your choices into more healthy ones. A way of improving this is making an appointment to a nutritionist, researching about the foods that would help in your specific issue, etc.

Also, remember that vitamin D is only absorbed by our bodies when we go outside and get some sunshowers on our skin! Enjoy the sun before 10AM and after 4PM. You'll feel amazing if you do daily stretches by those times beneath sunlight! Give it a try, you have nothing to lose and you won't regret it!

7. Alternative treatments

You can pick your way between hypnosis, homeopathy, sound therapy, reiki and what else you prefer!

Is an act of self-respect, because sometimes traditional therapies and medication does not do any good for specific cases. I hope everyone can find a treatment that can help them heal respecting their needs and in a way that can make them more comfortable.

If you know someone that could benefit by at least one of these tips, share with them these posts! Sharing is caring, spread the light into the world! 

The truth about the "ups and downs"

Have you ever felt that you're at your "downs" for a long time and then you consciously try to "go up", but then you suddenly "go down" again, unconsciously?

Well, it happens that you got used to being down, in a way that it became your comfort zone, but it's not your fault.

There's a video of Seiti Arata, from Arata Academy, where he says that the phrase "going out of your comfort zone" it's being misunderstood. People think they should parachute jump to go out of it, but what Arata says is that it would be easier and healthier to actually stretch your comfort zone, instead of just leaving it behind. 

We all have our own reasons for not leaving a familiar "place", it could be fear of judgment, failure, loneliness, etc. So thinking about all of this, ask yourself these questions:

• How long have I been this "down"?
• How "down" am I, compared to what is "neutral" to me?
• What do I want to set as "normal" to me? (Think about a natural state of being)
• What is a small and simple step I can do today that will help me get up in the long-term?
• What is my main motivation for that? (Remember John Assaraf: Motivation = Motive for Action)

If your normal state never were absolutely good for you, it's time to break up this state of being.

There will always be moments when we are not okay, but we have to stay aware of what is good for us and notice when we are going too deep in our bad moment, so we can live our pain, but not let it become our life. Let's keep our awareness and stand up little by little, so you can reach a place where your comfort zone will be truly comfortable!

Allow yourself to be happy now

Let me give you a piece of advice: Stop feeling guilty of showing a little happiness for whatever reason it is.

Some people may read this and be thinking "What? Why would I feel guilty for being happy?" while some others would think "Expressing happiness attracts jealousy". Well, both are kinda true. But none of them are good reasons for being sad all the time - I mean, by choice.

Yeah, choice. Take a look at this picture:

I already said in one of the previous posts that my family is in a hard moment financially. I've been at home for three months now, not going outside even to go to the supermarket because my mom is doing it since she works next to the market and she can buy stuff only little by little so she doesn't need any help. Obviously, I also don't go outside to save money for our bills. However, my sister doesn't seem to be so concerned about it. She called me to go to the movies to watch the new Aladdin movie with Will Smith, well I love Mr. Smith! But I told her I couldn't spend any money. She asked me why do I waste my youth making a victim of myself. I felt horrible about that, I even bragged her! But then she explained to me that since I lost my job 4 years ago, I've stopped eating well, buying things that are good to me, investing in my dreams and enjoying some nice events. I've been working in lots of irregular jobs and raising my money, but I'm here saving for a rainy day. It's not a bad thing.

But life goes by so fast, we can't deny it. Time is a bird that we can't catch in a cage. It'll fly away. Then we notice we died to pay bills. Of course, we should be prudent, but we can always find balance. 

We are always afraid of being called irresponsible for our acts. However, we should be also responsible for our own happiness. We can't keep on waiting for when we get that job we always wanted, for when we get a raise, for when we get a vacation, for when... whatever!

Be happy now! You can taste it.  It's your life. Your choice. And it's not a hard one. Won't you try?

Stop trying to fit in where there's no space for you

Hi, everyone! Well, this post may be a facepalm for many of us, it was especially for me when this phrase came to my mind. I've been doing that wherever I was. I tried to be someone else. I changed who I really am. I said "I'm sorry" countless times when it was obviously the other people who were wrong. Who never did that? Probably someone who can't recognize their mistakes, but if you're reading this blog, you're probably trying to find a way out of your bad behaviors, and nothing better than recognizing them at first hand. 

When you notice that, you will also notice how this is a waste of your life. You're doing things you don't want to, just to stay with some people or someone who doesn't really like you for who you are, for what you really are inside. Maybe you are sacrificing so much for them while they don't even care if you're there or not because they have no interest in you.

However, don't feel pity for yourself because of that. Try being your best friend, accepting what you love to do, enjoying your hobbies and your own company more and more. You need to ground yourself on your own personality and your personal space. When you do that, you'll be more light and bright, so the right people will come your way naturally and you'll know where you belong.

What is really important is what you think of yourself

This past Sunday, a person whom I consider so much sent me a link for a philosophic video talking about stoicism, which is almost the same as resilience. This video helped him through a hard time days ago, then he read one of my "vents" on Facebook and shared with me, so it could help me too.
I'm the kind of person who keeps on "digesting" a message for a few time in order to apply it in my life and say that it helped, and soon I'll be talking more about it, but the thing that I got instantly was the title of this post.

I spent that week chatting with lots of strangers on groups to see if I could meet new friends and one of them said:

"Weekends should be for parties or go out with someone, but I'm here on the internet"

Did you ever feel like that? Well, I used to do, many times. But I also remember times when I used to spend my sacred free time on weekends with people I didn't like, doing things I didn't like, thinking all the time how I wanted to go home.
This just an example of how we are still bombarded every day with many different ideal ways of living that we just can't follow because they just don't suit us, we can't afford them, or any other reason.
That person also reminded me that I should find people with whom I can have healthy and respectful friendships, and since I had a lot of trouble with my last ones, this is really accurate. I was often trying to please everyone but myself, but I'm glad we're all constantly changing, so I'm seeking to change for the better.
Now I want you to notice that you may also be doing that, even if it is unconsciously. So remember this: People come and go, not everyone will stay. We are often meeting new people and saying goodbye to some other. With this in mind, stay loyal to your own needs. Prioritize yourself and life will always show you a way out.
Stay tuned, keep inspiring.

How to send wishes in the right way to the Universe with the Law of Attraction

You can be a "good vibes" person and still have sad feelings

People usually think that someone in depression can't be positive. And that a "good vibes" person can't have feelings of anger, sadness or unsatisfaction. That's totally wrong.

I've been trying a positive life for a long time, since 2017. I no longer spend my hours on Facebook scrolling through videos and pictures of tragedies (for what we can't do anything about because it has already happened) that everyone's sharing, or on Twitter complaining about what I hate about the world and my life, as I used to do during 2014-15 (and probably, before that, I was doing it in my conversations, without awareness of it).
I still connect with my relatives and acquaintances on those sites, I still check out things that are happening for which I can offer help because I'm in this world for that.
And I use Instagram, Pinterest, and other social media, but I don't stay there as much. I like to connect with good and beautiful things. I also love YouTube to watch yoga and DIY videos (and I really try). They are part of my therapy.

But I still allow myself to be angry about unfair situations. I still feel sad about the things that don't go right as I planned. Because I know the importance of these feelings. They show me when it's time to change the path I'm walking in. They make me think about my reasons for keeping them.

So it's perfectly natural to have and embrace our low vibrations because we are human beings, and that's the only way we can be "good vibes" without losing our sanity and ignoring all of our problems until they become a huge snowball and smash us.
Pay attention to your environment, give special attention to your feelings.
Stay positive, but stand up as a human.

Do you have the feeling you lost everything? This is what happened to me

Last month, my cousin invited me to watch a movie and told me "there's no one else to call" and I told her I would save money to go with her. It was an appointment. A few days before the day, she posted pictures on her social media of her going to the movies. To watch that movie.
Yesterday, a friend of mine posted a picture with two tickets to an event that I used to call her every year. This year, she's going with someone else and didn't invite me. I was just about to invite her, as I used to do.

Since I lost my job and had to quit university, I also ended up losing my family's respect and all of my childhood/school friends, people don't count me in me anymore. This is was the most empty moment in my life.

Then this happened: I noticed the number "zero" is the start of everything. We think it's number 1, but we often start a text with a blank page, 0 characters; a new account on social media has 0 contacts/followers. A new bank account has a number 0 on the total amount. Because it's all empty.

There's a book called "Number Messages Handbook" by The Numerologist website where they talk about "the void and wholeness". He says:

"If you keep seeing the zero, it is a sign that you need to stop and create space in your life. New things maybe trying to manifest around you, but you need to embrace the void, for them to appear."

It was mind-blowing for me to read this. I thought I would have to conquer those friends again, that I should redeem everything I lost, be "deserving" of their respect again.

But I seriously thought about that quote.

What I needed to do was start over. I remember the leader of The Smashing Pumpkins band talking about his song "Today", saying that he was happy to have nothing left to lose so he could do anything he wanted to, and that could be called freedom.

It's scary for us to be that free. Because we were created to build our lives upon solid bases. But since we lost even the bases, why don't we start over and build new ones?
Start fresh, start a new life.
Embrace your emptiness, embrace the void.

"Throw all your cares and fly" - Zero, by The Smashing Pumpkins

Why do I sleep late and never wake up early?

I was hanging on some posts on a MeWe community and saw people complaining about not being able to wake up early. Some of them talking about their reasons and most of them was:

• Things are quieter in the morning
• I'm a night person, I work better at night
• At night people at home are loud or watching TV 

So what's wrong with this? What we want is to respect our bodies.

Do you usually find yourself with a headache when you wake up before sunrise after a nightmare or to go out and solve a problem? Do you sleep all afternoon because you can't take the day awake until the late night when you should sleep, then you sleep late anyway? Well, none of these things should represent a problem for you. Each person has a different organism and we should recognize what is an issue that should be addressed and what is normal for us.

To me, nighttime is when I overthink, but is also when I get the most out of my own thoughts, because I have a long time alone to meditate and understand the reasons behind my thoughts and what I could do about my behaviors. At morning, time seems to pass fast and I have no time at all for myself. It's not selfish. It's healthy to take care of ourselves.

So write down your reasons to be awake until late at night and sleep all morning, think about them and notice what you're noticing. Share this post with someone you think would benefit from the reading and let them do the same. Compare your lists. There will be very interesting things to discover! :)

Self-Sabotage? Why does "one" do that?

I've been noticing a pattern of behavior in a person who's very close to me. He often spoils every relationship he has acting like he doesn't really care about his girlfriend anymore and talking about their friends' lives every time to her, and other behaviors like this. He makes the girls feel worthless, so they break up with him. 

This same guy as a child used to do things differently from what his mother used to tell him to do, like waking up early to arrive early to school. He would prefer to be the rebel and arrive late, just because. 

Why does he act like that?

He says he was very happy with his last girlfriend and was always trying to do everything right and ended up always having to apologize for her. At first, I thought that he doesn't seem to look at the long-term consequences of the things he does. But this might not be the case.

He said they were planning to live together and everything seemed to be perfect. This is the keyword here: Perfect!

When we think we finally reach the perfect result for a situation (for instance, the perfect relationship), we just stop nurturing any efforts to keep it. We think we will never lose them. We think we already know that person enough since we are already together.

And what about things we didn't get yet? Sometimes we put the responsibility for our lives in other people's hands, so we just don't put all our might into it. Because we do not want to fail and feel ashamed right after.

So we say: "It was his/her fault", "I'm not what I wanted to be because of my family", "My mother is overprotective, so I can't do anything I want".

However, we're not in this life forever. People will go ahead with their lives. And what about us? What will we do? We will stop self-sabotage. We will take control of our lives, we will trust that we deserve to be happy, we deserve that perfect always nourished relationship, we deserve that opportunity in another state or country, we deserve. We were born to be the builder of our own lives, we are the writer, the director, and the actor. So go ahead and create, be the star in your own movie.

Because you deserve.

[Poetry day] Don't (Never) Try To Give Up

Hey everyone! Today I'm just sharing this song which I composed in 2012 and been aching to release it to anyone who needs! So share it with anyone you think would like. It's a dream pop/rock style. You'll see the lyrics right below the player.

 

Don't (never) Try to Give Up

Nobody knows what feels like to feel lost in this world

They don't even know what kind of sorrow that made these cuts.

But we don't like to do it, we just have nothing more

And we are tired of crying when they say we haven't reasons for!

Pré-Refrão:

You don't have to keep in your heart all this suffering, I know that it's so hard...

Every time you vanished away, don't even care for what they ever said

They say "never try to give up because one day you'll regret what you've done now!"

Don't ever try to give in, because the pain won't end when you're bleeding,

So never try to give up, because this world won't be fair when you go down!

Nobody knows what feels like to feel lost in this world

They don't even know what kind of sorrow that made these cuts.

But we don't like to do it, we just have nothing more

And we are tired of crying when they say we haven't reasons for!

You don't have to keep in your heart all this suffering, I know that it's so hard...

Every time you vanished away, don't even care for what they ever said

They say "never try to give up because one day you'll regret what you've done now!"

Don't ever try to give in, because the pain won't end when you're bleeding,

So never try to give up, because this world won't be fair when you go down!

https://sl.onerpm.com/8817674357

Why self-help books don't work - Part 2: Doing your own therapy

In the last post, I talked about not having anyone to push me forward and reminding me to take care of my life, only people to ask me for fast results.
This is one of the reasons why we can't keep going with self-help. They always start with easy things that we don't need to put in too much effort to do but then the "innercises" start to get harder and harder and we think that our problem is too deep to even be able to face.
But we can do our own therapy by diving deep into our souls.
This is true.
I've been looking for photographs and things I couldn't face for so long, things I buried between documents, friends lists, cloud archives. It hurt. Why? Because I noticed that a lot of things going on now in my life started there. I felt kinda guilty but reminded myself that this is part of the process and that I didn't know what to do that moment but I could do something now. As Louise Hay taught in her "Mirror Work" book, I started to talk to myself in front of the photos and to my reflection in the mirror. It was pretty hard and I still have a long way to go but I know I can be healed with time.
Also you, who is reading my blog posts. Is there something you can't face in your past? Even if you can't see now, when you start to face it, you will notice that it was stuck as a block in your path to where you want to be and you need to remove it. Trust yourself, trust the process. We can make it!

Why self-help books don't work - Part 1: Keep going

Hey everyone! How are things going? I hope everything is okay.

Today's topic is self-help. There are thousands of books and gurus talking about that. Well, in my opinion, some things can only be healed with a doctor accompaniment. 

But the image below explains a little bit about the title. Some people actually can help themselves with consistency and persistence.

When I saw this quote on Twitter, I kept on thinking about it for days straight. It was the motivation I needed to keep going with my efforts to not give up on life and my dreams. 

While thinking about it, I started to remember things I stopped in the middle. I stopped cultivating friendships. I stopped participating in theatre and the rhythmic gymnastics presentations. I wanted to skip high school and didn't finish college. Am I good on these things today? No, because I didn't keep going. I gave up on everything because they were taking so long to show me results.

It's the same with therapy. It's the same with self-help.

I didn't have anyone pushing me forward when I was younger since both of my parents had full-time jobs and no time for family. Now I have to find ways to push myself and break this bad habit.

One thing we can do is use our cellphones for this good purpose: create an appointment with ourselves, setting a reminder in order to not forget it. Turn it into a routine, like brushing teeth. I learned the habit of meditating right after I brush my teeth in the morning or the night before bed, depending on the occasion.

The thing here is not rushing things, but enjoying the journey more so we can feel proud of ourselves with each little step, then the final result won't feel like a relief of something hard, but it will taste as sweet as a homebaked cake.

The importance of laugh, fun and enjoy

Last month I went on a trip to another state of my country. There I watched a stand-up comedy show and it was really fun. I realized it's been a long time I didn't laugh that much. It was like a movie scene when the character's mind goes back in time and they remember lots of moments when they didn't see anything funny when other people were "laughing their asses off", you know... That kind of scene. And then they finally could do that, but everyone was laughing together, and no one was crying or being made fun of. Everyone was having fun. I felt like that.

It made me realize also that I could bear things like isolation, sadness, and loneliness for a much longer time after that long laughing period because it didn't bother me as much as the moments I was serious. Laughing is truly cheap medicine.
I'm not saying that we should laugh for hours straight and go bear things we could avoid. If we were given legs (and wheels for our vehicles), we have to make good use of it and walk away whenever we need. That's why I was on a trip, right? We need to be where we are allowed to breathe, to be happy, where people enjoy our company, and we enjoy their company too, etc.
However, laughing at least a little bit now and then is proven that reduces symptoms of some emotional sicknesses. It makes us feel lighter and brighter, it distracts our minds from worries... and when we go back to think about them, it seems that they are simpler too.
I haven't been laughing that much because I had to "grow up" very early when life started to get bitter, but now I'm gonna watch that kind of light comedies and other kinds of funny stuff more often.
We need to soften our minds to ease and enjoy our lives.

Beware of the selfish people masked as "good vibes"

At the beginning of this month, I saw two posts on Twitter that made me confuse. Both of them were "complaints about complaints".

It seems like people are getting into the Law of Attraction with a selfish mind. They want to lock themselves inside a "good vibes" bubble, saying that they don't want to know anything about the bad things that are happening around them, just want to see good news and be connected to positive people. What is bad in that?

Well, what if someone is in need of their help? Imagine some of their friends on Facebook makes a post about how bad they're feeling and there's no one to talk to. What will they do? Scroll the page. Why? Because they think that person is being "negative-minded" and they don't want to talk to people like that, right?

That's a really bad thing. If the Law of Attraction is their excuse to be selfish, then they didn't learn it properly. The Law of Attraction says that you will get exactly what you send out to the world. It's similar to planting a seed. You can't get a banana tree out of apple seeds. It's a natural law. So if you are planting selfishness, what would you expect to receive?

Remember: When you see anyone "complaining about complaints", don't go with their flow. Do good to others. They may be keeping so much more inside and for so long... 

And when you help others, you are planting peace of mind.

Criticism: Sometimes you should ignore it. Learn the difference

Every day we are exposed to messages that could offend us. Sometimes even a friend could tell us something that bothers us. It's the consequence of living in society.
But when you feel uncomfortable with what they say, I would recommend that you pay attention to the reason why it is bothering you.

• Is what they're telling a truth about you?
• Does that reality "irritates" you too, but you wished nobody noticed because you have your reasons for not being able to change it?
• Is that reality a part of your life which you respect and wished everybody else could respect too?
• Did that person misunderstand you?
• Or are they pointing a finger at a flaw you didn't notice before?

Write down everything you felt when that person criticized you. And remember: that which you were criticized for is just a detail. Rather it could be changed, rather it should be respected. The choice is yours. Don't put it into others' hands.

My experience with antidepressants

With this post, I hope I can offer people a new point of view about antidepressants. We all know psychiatrists want us to buy medication so they can sell us their fellow fabricants' products. That is a fact. But what we should know is that, sometimes, medication can become an enemy for us. 

I have been walking on a long path with medication for depression, even though I'm still about to complete age 25. 

The first time I went to a psychiatrist to recommend me some pills was during the first of my high school years, in 2011. It was imipramine hydrochloride.

The side-effects were too strong for a sixteen-year-old girl. I would arrive late at school every day with swollen red eyes and still sleep during the whole class. People were asking me if I was taking drugs, but I clearly told everyone what that drug was about. My classmates started to avoid me because of my appearance. I had to cut my hair short and lost too much weight. I went from "fat" to a skeleton in two years. About my mood, well, I don't remember having any feeling. I wouldn't brag for anything, neither cry about anything at all. But I also wasn't happy. I couldn't smile.

My father talked to me and we decided I should stop, so I did it.

When I stopped it, my mood changed completely. Little by little, I started to feel more alive than ever and I could scream to the whole world how bright I was feeling inside. But that became a problem: I would literally scream anywhere for a little happiness.

"How is that a problem?" Well, when it's your last year of high school and every one of your classmates are studying for the final exams (and college exams also), there's no time for jokes. And I was acting uncontrollably, laughing out loud, talking nonstop about nothing at all, etc. And I also couldn't sleep for lots of nights straight.

It took 6 months after I graduated from high school to get back to "normal" and return to society. I have to add here that I stopped it out of nowhere because the doctor's opinion was to make me keep it for the rest of my life, even though I couldn't even eat while taking it.

After trying other antidepressants during the other years, I came to the conclusion that there's no medicine that can help me.

These past three years, I've been slowly stopping oxalate of escitalopram. This one was the least bad I've tried. But I've been taking care of my health in other ways, as you can see in the picture, with yoga and practicing a hobby. It looks great, but as you can also see in the picture (as long as you can understand my shaking hands writing), I have to take note if I did any easy to do, everyday task, like washing my hair or going outside the home. They can often be a big effort.

However, the reason I'm stopping the treatment (besides money issues to keep the regular inquiries with the doctor) is that I don't feel much difference anymore when I'm taking or not taking the medicine. The only thing that happens when I spend more than 7 days without it is that I feel some dizziness, but it's bearable and it's slowly getting less intense, so I know I can get rid of medication soon.

With soft exercises, healthy nutrition (I'm gonna talk about the importance and how this can help later on), motivation from the inside and lots of enjoyable productive things to do, we can live our lives very well without medication. If I ever change my mind, I'm gonna post here for you guys as well. For now, this is my sincere opinion. 

As always, thank you very much for reading, stand up with joy and keep smiling! 😊

What if I could count on myself only?

Hey everyone! How's it going the first month of the year?
I have a tip for you: don't make plans upon "if's".
I've been reading my old journals and noticed I always fail to reach my new year's goals because they always depend on something (or someone) else. That's why I always feel disappointed when it's already July and I did nothing at all, so I keep telling myself it's another wasted year.
It doesn't have to be a wasted year. And you don't need to put a lot of pressure on yourself.
If you just live each day focusing on your own personal goals (keep in mind that you still have the rest of January and 11 months more), independently on "if I get a job", "if I lose weight", or "if my boss increase my salary", "if I pass the exam", etc, you'll feel lighter and each goal you reach will make you feel proud of yourself in a much more positive and powerful way! Because you didn't need to wait for something in order to get there...
You can do it! Remember to stand up with joy and keep smiling! :)

You cannot give from an empty cup

Before I start this post, I'd like to say sorry to the people who have been following my blog posts for being inactive these past days. I've been busy applying for temporary jobs for Black Friday and Christmas, but sadly, I still didn't get any reply and I'm currently in a situation where I need to move. I can't stay stuck.

While running here and there with my resume copies in hands, I was thinking about my skills, my appearance, and personality. "What should I improve? There's obviously a reason why I'm finding closed doors everywhere I go"... Well, I've been officially unemployed for 4 years now and these 4 years, I've been studying all possible tips to became "employable". "Probably is the crisis". "People are building their own companies because there's no job in the big companies." These were the thoughts that came to my mind. But the small companies need workers too. I talked to a lot of new entrepreneurs and they're out of job openings.

I came back home with empty hands and all I could do was wait patiently, right? Wrong. As I was staring at the broken clock on the wall, I noticed that it wasn't just my working papers that were stuck. Everything in my life was stuck, even my skills.

Since I recovered from my suicide attempt, I didn't try to recover my life. I was just taking care of my body with medication and yoga now and then. The "all possible tips" I studied were how to dress well in a job interview, how to speak calmly, where to look, how to walk, how to sit, how to shake hands. I rewrote my resume in a better design. All of these things are important, but they only make me look better at first sight. However, how could I help those companies? Receptionists also have to have skills. So now I'm trying to study more useful things, little by little, step by step in this long journey.

It happens also in relationships. My childhood friend just broke up her long-term relationship. I tried to help her through each of their ups and downs during the last year, but she didn't listen to me. She was obsessed with that man. I recommended a Taiwanese drama for her to watch and left her deal with their issues alone.
The drama was called "The fierce wife" and it's about a woman who was always supportive of her husband, but she didn't have her own life, nor even love herself. The woman was just "his wife" and "mother of his daughter". She only noticed that when he betrayed her. That was when she started to change her life and learn to live well with herself.
I don't know what will happen to my friend, neither if I will get at least a temporary job for Christmas. However, all we can do is be kind to ourselves, be patient with the Universe "timing" and work hard to improve ourselves.

Thanks for reading and supporting my blog! Be inspiring and stand up with Joy! 😉

Be mindful, not a "mind full" - Part 2

It's time to make your days more productive. Let's try this minimalist mind exercise.

Think about your tasks to do. Write them all down. Ask yourself: 

Why is it important?

You can cut from your list the tasks that are not useful and make others easier.

For instance, you can unsubscribe from email lists that are only making a mess in your inbox. Look at those emails you never open or the ones that can't seem to be serving you any knowledge and are only wasting your time. You'll find it a lot more easy to read your emails. If you can keep your email inbox organized and clean, you can do it with other things too. 

Let's check out your priorities. Look back to your to-do list.

1. Put 5 asterisks, hearts or stars (or draw any other symbol that calls your attention, but which feels good to look at) for the most important task in your list, that one you need to do immediately. 
2. Then put 4 in the ones you have to do in that day.
3. Three for the ones you can do when you finish those ones. 
4. Two for what can be done the next day in the morning. 
5. One for what can be done during the week and none for those things you don't think are urgent or that can be cut from the list.

Now ask yourself these questions:

• Does doing the hardest task first motivates me or makes me give up faster and I end up letting the rest of them undone?
• Does doing the easier tasks first alleviates me or makes me feel too tired to do the hardest ones later on? 
• Can I organize the bigger one into smaller pieces?
• Can I do more than one at a time?
• What is the best time of the day to do each one of them?

When you finish all these, rewrite your to-do list in the order that suits your priorities (you can create a mind map too, the example image is down below), and try them out. 

At the end of the day, write down what you felt about it and make the changes you need for the next day. 

It sounds more complex than it really is, but when you start doing it, things will start to fall into place, little by little and you'll keep your mind organized.